Hot on the heels of their much-maligned $7 cup of premium Geisha coffee, Starbucks has announced the release of this $450 Metallic Super Gift Card Device. We think the Metallic Super Gift Card Device (MSGCD) would make the perfect gift for the Bond villain on your holiday shopping list. Here’s the top seven Bond villains/henchman/assorted ne’r-do-wells who would appreciate this gift the most.

Editors note: The MSGCD is totally, actually real. We did not make it up.

Nick Nack

7. Nick Nack The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)
Drink of choice: Short French Roast

With the metallic gift card Nick Nack could buy around three hundred short French Roast blend coffees at Starbucks. This would be helpful in aiding him in the mansion control room, pairs well with peanuts, and would allow him to handle a cup of coffee in one hand, and his appropriately sized gun in the other.

Jaws

6. Jaws Moonraker (1979)
Drink of choice: Venti Strawberry Creme Frappuccino Blended Creme

The Metallic Super Gift Card Device matches beautifully with Jaws’ blinged-out grill. Although he’s one big beefy henchman, we’re sure he prefers the sweeter things in life – and nothing is ...